Today marks me and my girlfriend’s one-month anniversary. (More accurately, one month monthiversary, but that’s a mouthful.)

When I came to The Company nine months ago, I knew I would be the only guy there. And I was determined to NOT steal any hapless girl’s heart while I was there.

Well, I failed.

Now, you probably don’t care to hear this love story—unless you’re into gossip. What you really want to hear about how you can pursue your dreams today.

Wish granted.

You have a dream on your heart, and as you pursue it, it grows—pushes things out of your life that were there before.

A few weeks ago I wrote an article about how in the beginning, your dream isn’t making much money. Being a waiter is what brings home the dough. But as you practice and pursue your dream, it earns more and more money until your waiter job goes from job to hobby to non-existent.

Dating plays right into that. You are pursuing DREAM, not MATE. Relationships will distract from your pursuit of God and the dream He’s put on your heart.

This is what I believed for the first seven or so months at The Company.

I don’t believe it anymore. God and a few other people changed my mind, and here’s how.

(If you don’t care for the story, skip down to “The Point” heading. Tips rule, stories drool—I get it.)

The Story

At some point near the beginning of the year I found myself crushing hard on Allison Prince, the second-year-student at The Company.

That was a problem. I was going to complete the program, get published, start my acting career. (It was all laid out in this blog article—bullet points and everything!)

Simple solution—make the feelings go away. New problem—I couldn’t. That was overwhelming, and stressful, and scary.

So in a meeting with my mentor Brad Pauquette, I asked him, “How do I get rid of the feelings?”

His answers were enlightening, and I decided that maybe, just maybe, dating could be a good thing. (I’d always wished my parents had arranged my marriage—so much simpler!)

And I started praying. You see, nobody has all the answers—nobody can see the future. Except God. That’s why He’s the best person to ask when you’re in trouble.

And He was saying, essentially, “Yes. Do it. Trust Me.”

And I obeyed. And guess what? It’s been amazing.

We’ve grown a lot already, been through trauma, and here we are a month later trying to trust God and love each other and juggle busy lives.

Too much story? Maybe. Or maybe you want to laugh at what an idiot I must’ve been to not ask that wonderful girl out the second I laid eyes on her.

The Point

I thought a relationship would distract from God and my dream, and to be sure, it HAS made things more complicated.

But it hasn’t thrown off my dream.

Actually, since dating I’ve gotten more clarity on where I think God wants me in this next season. It’s also forced me to trust God more, see more of my own issues, and even start to grow out of them.

Dating isn’t in the Bible. Marriage sure is, and I think we can extrapolate a few of the principles from marriage over to dating.

In Mark 10:6-7a, Jesus says “But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife…”

That’s the reason God made two genders—so they could come together. Which I think implies that God loves marriage. He might even be fond of this modern thing called dating.

So if you feel like God wants you to start dating, listen. There will be time (perhaps it’s mostly through texts early in the morning before work), there will be money (there’s a heck of a lot you can do for free, you know), and He will be with you (because He never leaves us—period).

Now before we get all rosy, yes, dating will affect your dream.

If my dad never got married, I bet he could make enough money playing gigs while leading worship as his vocation. But he did get married, and now it’s all a hobby. There are sacrifices you will have to make.

Alli and I are both training to become writers. But eventually, I want to pursue film, even travel the world doing so. Working twenty hours a day away from home is not conducive to a healthy marriage (if that happens).

So I’m putting my film dream on hold. I’m not giving up on it—I still want to take the steps to pursue it full-time. But how that shakes out will be different than I envisioned, because another person is going to be involved in that process.

And that’s not a bad thing. I’m sure there will be things I’ll be able to do because I’m with Alli that I’d never do if it was just me.

But if you’re seeking God and following His dream, all the pieces will fit together. Just not how you would’ve guessed.

Because love is complicated.

Happy monthiversary, Alli!


This is a big subject. Are there any questions you all have? How are YOU following your dream and a relationship?

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